When a Christian commits suicide.
I want to keep this brief, if possible. (I can't recall it's ever been possible)
I was having dinner with a friend and I asked for an update on a mutual friend of ours.
He looked up at me and said, "Didn't you know?".
I replied, "Know what?"
He responded, "She committed suicide at the beginning of this year".
I was in utter shock, purely beyond my comprehension.
I knew she has attempted suicide or so I had been told, many years ago,
I knew she and her husband were unplugged and disassociated with any church.
I had heard she were going through some challenges again.
I didn't know it was to this level, nor details this friend would tell me as background story he knew.
Jackie (Not her real name) was an amazing Christian woman. Not just a church goer, not just a religious person, but someone who I was, am and will always be convinced had a genuine, authenitic,
real love and relationship with Jesus Christ. A born-again Christian. Someone who had made a decision to follow Jesus as her savior, but who had also married poorly early on, had gone through martial abuse she was still emerging from and had some physical pain which ultimately became unbarable.
I'm not going to go into all the details, try to justify her decision based on the past or present up until she took her life, nor about possible intervention that may have helped.
From what I understand, there are some serious failures on the medical side that much blame could be asserted as significant contributors.
No, I want to keep this simple, because as a follower of Jesus, this is the first time someone I knew made a similar decision, both Christian and non-Christians.
In my twenties, i went through a time where I contemplated it myself, not to the point of acting on it, but close enough. I was fortunate to have God send people literally to my car while I was sleeping on the street that made contact with me, that helped me feel better enough to wait till a friend got home from work, then I went into his house where he and his roommate prayed for me, and I experienced the most significant encounter with God that it transformed me going forward.
That wasn't however the only time. Years later, I lost every. My house, my career, I experienced an injury that put me in constant pain, etc. etc. and I went through three years straight of depression. It crossed my mind in that dark season, but my hope as tiny as it was, remained on Jesus Christ.
Even more recent, around the same time my friend committed suicide, I was in a similar dark place for lots of different reasons, so I understand that as a Christian, I can become so weak, so tired, so hopeless, so lonely, so discouraged I might want to check out. I get it. Add to the, unbearable pain that isn't or can't be treated and it's not a good combination no matter how much faith or hope you have.
When I was a kid, my best friends mom committed suicide. It was a devastating thing, especially from his families Catholic Church teaching that Suicide is an unforgivable sin. It tore them apart and I had to watch its impact on his life for most of his life.
So I've had many years to research this topic, ask questions about it during my years at bible university, ponder the question, "Do Christians go to heaven if they commit suicide?"
I've heard a lot of different opinions on the subject from well meaning pastors, but as someone who has studied the bible intensely, I have never found a single verse that explicitly implies or discusses suicide for whatever reason that leads to it.
Quite a few years ago now, I remember when Pastor, Rick Warren announced on TV that his youngest son had committed suicide. Rick was of course in enormous grief and pain, no one wants to bury their own children.
It was a very dark time in the history of the church from my observation, not knowing Rick personally nor being a part of his church. It created a massive debate on the topic, and it was very cold, unloving, uncompassionate, very un-Jesus style. People were criticizing and condemning Rick in a moment he needed to be picked up, carried and loved.
At that time, the church as a whole looked very ugly. I thought to myself, I don't have a conclusive answer, but the churches and other pastors and leaders responses judging Rick and trying to hold him accountable for the death of his son, was definitely not the answer.
I honestly hadn't thought about Christian living and suicide since then, until now when my friend told me about our friend. I was as mad that no one told me she had passed away six months ago, as I was feeling like her husband and others were trying to cover it up.
She was an amazing woman, who at various times when I was going through dark seasons in my own life, encouraged me to keep going, reassuring me to trust in my relationship with Jesus.
So after dinner when my friend I went different ways, I came home and I was talking to God about his, because I was angry and sad, disappointed, confused. I'd spent the last 11 months encouraging myself with bible verse about the favor of God, God's good plan of us, God' protection, and I had to pause and say, "So God will allow me to self-terminate?".
I always assumed God would somehow intervene, but I also believe 100% that God ultimately gives us free will. When I choose to sin, no matter the kind of sin, I have to make a decision to do it. I choose to ignore what I know about sin and what God has said about it.
God doesn't step in and suddenly stop me, the majority of the time. Rarely. I am free to choose,
If I procrastinate doing something I know I need to do, I often have to pay the price of procrastinating. I get to decide if something will take priority, am I willing to do what I need to do, even if its difficult, but necessary, or ignore it till it gets worse.
As these thoughts were racing through my mind, I asked the Holy Spirit, "So what happens to a Born-Again Christian who has a relationship in Jesus Christ if they get to a point they make a decision to commit suicide?
That is when Romans 8: 38-39 came into my thoughts.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
You see the first line? "Neither DEATH, nor life..... can separate us from God."
That's the answer right there. If someone believes in Jesus as their savior, has a relationship with Jesus, has put their faith into Jesus God Son's, "NOTHING, can separate us".
I'm not writing this to promote, encourage or endorse suicide at all. It's a sin. It's murder even if you're killing yourself. The bible condemns murder. It's in the ten commandments.
However, if you are reborn into Christ, and have a genuine relationship with Jesus, you've repented of your sins, then your sins are already forgiven. So yes, its a sin, but its not an unforgivable sin.
I'm writing this for those of us who are left behind, Christians and followers of Jesus Christ who have come across this situation and have this question, to encourage you, that if someone you love had a legitimate authenticate relationship with Jesus as their savior, (Not religion, Not a good church attendance record... R.E.L.A.T.I.O.N.S.H.I.P) they'll go to heaven when they die.
Romans 8: 38-39 "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." gave me peace and settled my heart about the matter.
But I inquired more of the Holy Spirit and said, is there anything that supports this verse in this situation, and another bible verse suddenly came to mind.
John 10:10
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
Similar verses include: Luke 22:31 and 1 Peter 5:8
The bible repeats this warning three times to "Believers", followers of Jesus Christ.
Satan's goal and ultimate mission is to 1.) Steal 2.) Kill and 3.) Destroy
I never really understood the context of this verse. I can't recall any pastor actually attempting to explain this verse before, giving examples or scenarios for it. But suicide is fits perfectly into this verse. If the bible is warning us three different time's, it really means it.
Satan's is actively desiring to steal what God has promised us, KILL US, and Destroy us.
In this context, I was thinking about Job in the bible. The bible say's that Satan had to get permission from God to test Job. So I was concluding that in every situation, Satan has to ask permission.
But in hindsight I see that is not true all the time. Going all the way back to the garden of Eden, God told Adam the trees he couldn't eat from. He told Eve the trees that God had told him they couldn't eat from. Satan didn't go to God for permission, he went to Eve and challenged God's possible reasons for telling them not to eat of those trees.
It was Eve, who gave her permission and then Adam gave his permission out of their free will to Satan.
As I mentioned earlier, I can choose to disobey God. I can chose to try drugs knowing the rick is high I might become addicted. I can choose to steal a candy bar from a store. I can choose to have sex with someone I'm not married to. When I choose opposite of what God has said is best for me, I am giving permission to Satan to Steal, Kill and Destroy me in whatever manner I am executing my free will.
So suicide is a permanent final, horrible sin. It permanently ends your mission on earth. It can put a generational curse on your family bloodline for the spirit of suicide for later generations. It destroys your witness to others who knew they were a Christian, especially family members who have no relationship with Jesus. Divorce is destructive enough, but suicide is the ultimate.
It's giving Satan a victory dance, one less light in the world that shines for Christ, one less witness of the love of Christ.
But, it's not an unforgivable sin for if the person had a legitimate relationship with Jesus Christ and had repented of their sins.
God allows it. Just like God allows disease, birth defects, early deaths, etc.
There is one last confidence to all of this however, and it almost seems ironic.
Romans 8:28
" And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."
In a case where suicide has occurred it's hard to imagine Romans 8:28 applying, but I'll give an example. Suicide is obviously not good. No Bueno!
But I recall my friend who when we were around 9 or 10 years old his mom committed suicide.
They were a Catholic family at that time, and they were taught that suicide was a one way ticket to hell. I was told that his mom had received Jesus as her savior at some point. It may have been part of the catalysts that led to her separation and divorce proceedings prior to committing suicide. I don't know. What I do know, is years later, her former husband, daughter and son, have all made decisions to have a relationship Jesus Christ. It was an amazing thing to watch. It didn't happen immediately. It took years, and it happened one at a time, that they not perfect, not of us are. But it is an illustration of how that situation eventually helped all of her family find a relationship with Jesus.
I was talking with the friend who told me about our friend passing away, and I told him that I had been seeing something interesting in the months since it happened (I was unaware it had happened). One of her son's who I knew from years earlier reached out to me. He never told me his mom had passed away either. He probably assumed I knew, but I didn't I just treated him like I would anyone else. I noticed he seemed to be interested in Jesus. I didn't know why, but I talk about my experience as a Christian the good and the bad often on social media. I would be amazing to see if ultmiately, though not directly to his mom, despite losing her battle, leds to her whole family coming to a relationship to Jesus Christ too.
I hate suicide. I hate death. I hate disease. I hate illness. I hate divorce, but these are all things in this world. Realities we have to live with, realities we need to have answers to address sometimes.
In the case of suicide, the evidence in the bible suggests that God has warned us that Satan's goal is to Kill us if possible and we need to take that very seriously. It also tells us that not even death can separate us from God. It doesn't add any qualifications to it. It doesn't say death by illness, death by murder, death by suicide. It just say's death. That means no method of death can separate those who are born-again in Christ Jesus, from that relationship with him and the Father. PERIOD.
I hope this encourages you alittle. I found out about my friend passing away about 5 hours ago. It's 2:15 AM now. It was no my heart. It's a question I've heard many people ask about.
Again, this is not for anyone contemplating suicide. This is for those of you who have to go one without someone who already has, who had a relationship with Jesus, and you just can't wrap your brain, heart or bible around it. I felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me, "It's ok that they lost the fight". "It's o.k. that they lost the race". It's not ideal, it's not God's will, but it's o.k. They'll still see Jesus, those of us who also believe in Jesus Christ and have a genuine relationship with Christ will one day see them again, just like well see some we know ho passed away on natural causes or other causes. So let your heart be settled. It's O.K.