EVOLVING OBSERVTIONS #1
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(The past seven years i've been in a place of reflection, observation, re-evaluation, pondering, re-assessment. I've gone through homelessness, job loss, medical challenges, legal challenges, career changes, being seen publicly by over 2 million people, followed by and an influencer of over 680,000 people. I've fulfilled dreams like buying a motorcycle, finishing film school, lived in three different countries, played music in from of large audiences in Japan but also alone on a balcony in the middle of Mexico to the city below. I've produced music and films. I've made big money producing for YouTube-Google, I've worked on a feature movie, three commercials, a popular music video. I've acted into two films, I lost everything I had and became an entrepreneur selling online to pay my bills while eating out of the 99 Cent's stores. My parents passed away, friends walked away, A friend who I knew from Highschool asked me to give them $10,000 without it being a loan. Family members who never talked to me nor sought me out, suddenly started calling me asking for money. Women started planning a future with me and wanting me to buy property to fulfill their dreams who never had interest in me before. I've been kicked out of churches, asked to leave churches, part of leadership in churches, abandoned by churches. I've had money and I've lost money. I've lived all across America for a year. I've been called destitute by the state that I worked for thate created the destitution, I've had EBT to buy food, I've worked with pastors who wanted to charge people attending a church plant "$20 per head, the same price for admission to a movie". I've sat under and been trained by some of the churches greatest leaders like, John Wimber and others. I've was mentored by two amazing people of God for 28 years. It's been a complicated journey, often lonely journey, but its taught me many things. What follows are observations and conclusions I've reached about different things. They may just be personal, or they
may be more widely applicable.
1. "Best Friends", are not always the best for you friends.
2. Only invest in others, what you're will to lose.
3. Women will never genuinely understand what its like to be a man, most have no clue what a man really wants in a woman (and top on the list... its not sex), many women will settle for the lowest quality of men to have children if they're single but that's after pushing away really good men who didn't meet their unrealistic fantasies of being able to feed 5,000 with a couple of fish and loaves of bread.
4. Men will never know what it is like to be a woman, even if they have long hair and play on the WBA. Most men want sex but don't have to have sex - but God connected their eyeballs to their penis, they wake up most mornings with an erection no mater how tired they are or what kind of dreams they were having - the have a completely realistic dream of being ran over by a tank and crushed and wake up a few seconds later with a boner (God has an ironic sense of humor). A man's penis rises with the sun, just like a rooster crows in the morning. If a man likes you and thinks your attractive, you have a 25% chance of things going farther than sex - even if he isn't that into you, if you seem desperate to get married your chance drops to 15%, if you're seem inattentive - disinterested - unwilling to counter pursue - fail to take any initiative after he shows initiative - his imagination is going to create pictures in his head of you laying in bed with him someday and saying, "Go ahead, just hope on, do your business and get it over with" - nothing is a bigger turn off that a woman who just sits silently or lays there silently - well, except for a woman who complains about everyone and talks to much.
5 Friendship's require investment. Once one side of the friendship stops investing, it may take years, but it will eventually end (Man's perspective only).
6 Some "Friends" have an underlining plan running all the time, their investments, time spent, etc. are all part of a long term plan to call in a favor or make a big ask at a future time. If you move out of the area or long distance, they'll walk away, because they can no longer manipulate you towards their plan, or you to far away and emotionally disconnected to make a big-ask in person.
7 Your best friend, may not think you're their best friend. In fact, its highly likely. People tend to have a best friend if people in those who they can learn from, have a lot of common with, or who are available. You can tell if you have that kind of best friend, if they're inviting other people to do things and leaving you out.
- The bible say's in Provers 18:24 say's "One who has unreliable friends, soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who stick's closer than a brother".
8 There are friends who will dive right in to the ashes with you without any expectations, and there are friends who you'll have to pay and feed pizza to for their time. Other's will show up to watch, but a Proverbs 18:24 friend will never ask for money or expect anything in return - but will be very appreciative if you do. They're only desire and hope is that when its your time being in ashes, they'll show up and help you without expecting or requiring payment from you.
9 I've been to churches in three continents and the most frequently preached message is on tithing. You can learn how to tithe in every conceivable way known to man - including Apple Pay, but still not hear a clear teaching on Relationship With Jesus and Salvation. You may hear a tag line at the end of each service inviting you to come up if you want to pray to receive Jesus as you savior, but that's not a teaching or preaching about what it means to have a Relationship with God's son.
10 Leaders in a church will tell you over again, "We're family", "Will help you get through this". But they're the first ones to stop calling if you can no longer get to the church for whatever reason.
11 In bible university I used to see students who would argue with professors about what they were teaching out of the bible, because their pastors had said and taught something different. Pastors have great influence over the people of their churches, yet when I worked and studied at Fuller Theological Seminary, I knew "pastors" who were living in sin the whole time they were in school, one of them who was living in sin declared during her last few weeks before getting her doctorate, "I just got saved". You'll never be able to "walk on water", if you eyes are on your pastor.
12 The very first broken marriages and adultery I observed, were pastors and deacons in a church. The pastor wife was having an affair with the head deacon. The deacons wife was having an affair with someone else. The adult Sunday school pastor was married but having an affair with a highschooler in the youth group. 11 Years later, with a different pastor and deacons, the almost exact same thing happened again. (That church no longer exists). I my later adult like, a minister of a different church had an affair with a young man outside of the church, she got exposed and "repented to fellow leaders in the church - but it was never disclosed to the rest of the church. That same church kicked church members out of the church for doing that same thing and they publicly stated why they did it to the church. I've known more "Christians" and Pastor's and "leaders" who have been divorced, had affairs, mistreated their spouses, than I know outside of the church. The church can be a good place to hear teaching from the bible and life application, but if a relationship with Jesus isn't it's ultimate mission, it's just a building filled with a bunch of hypocrites who are bad liars.
13 You can learn a lot about the status and treasures of a persons heart and life pursuit, by reading their Facebook page. Those who are hiding and undercover never post anything, or stop posting because someone called out what they were doing. Those who are grandparents usually post about their grandchildren, parents post about parenting, sports people post about their favorite teams and rival teams, games post about gaming. You'll not find any page likes, comments, or content about a relationship with Jesus, unless that relationship is the treasure of their heart. Mathew 5:14-16 "A city that is on a hill can not be hid, nor does a person light a lamp and put it under a basket but instead on a stand so it shines light throughout the house, let your light so shine in front of others, so they will see your good works and glorify the Father".
14 In peoples older years, they often become cynical of their church, church leaders, church friends, because they invested so many years of their life, time, money and energy to them, but many of the things preachers have falsely promised as biblical truths or prophesied have never come to pass and the is no time remaining for them to. Also, as churches change generationally, the stronghold their generation had in determining the past of their church dies with those members as they move away or their life journey ends.
15 Bitterness is a curse you put on yourself for something some else did or you believe they did wrong against you. You'll never get rid of resentment, hatered, bitterness until you forgive those you feel wrongs by, start praying blessing over their lives, and let go of the offence. God will let you live with a bitter and malice heart for as long as you hold on to it. That is why Ephesians 4:26 say's "In your anger do not sin, do not let the sun go down while you are still angery, and do not give the devil a foothold. (A foothold is what rock climber use to hold on to an otherwise unclimbable surface. Once you find a foothold, a cliff climber can hang out there in that one spot safely for as long as they want to.)
1. "Best Friends", are not always the best for you friends.
2. Only invest in others, what you're will to lose.
3. Women will never genuinely understand what its like to be a man, most have no clue what a man really wants in a woman (and top on the list... its not sex), many women will settle for the lowest quality of men to have children if they're single but that's after pushing away really good men who didn't meet their unrealistic fantasies of being able to feed 5,000 with a couple of fish and loaves of bread.
4. Men will never know what it is like to be a woman, even if they have long hair and play on the WBA. Most men want sex but don't have to have sex - but God connected their eyeballs to their penis, they wake up most mornings with an erection no mater how tired they are or what kind of dreams they were having - the have a completely realistic dream of being ran over by a tank and crushed and wake up a few seconds later with a boner (God has an ironic sense of humor). A man's penis rises with the sun, just like a rooster crows in the morning. If a man likes you and thinks your attractive, you have a 25% chance of things going farther than sex - even if he isn't that into you, if you seem desperate to get married your chance drops to 15%, if you're seem inattentive - disinterested - unwilling to counter pursue - fail to take any initiative after he shows initiative - his imagination is going to create pictures in his head of you laying in bed with him someday and saying, "Go ahead, just hope on, do your business and get it over with" - nothing is a bigger turn off that a woman who just sits silently or lays there silently - well, except for a woman who complains about everyone and talks to much.
5 Friendship's require investment. Once one side of the friendship stops investing, it may take years, but it will eventually end (Man's perspective only).
6 Some "Friends" have an underlining plan running all the time, their investments, time spent, etc. are all part of a long term plan to call in a favor or make a big ask at a future time. If you move out of the area or long distance, they'll walk away, because they can no longer manipulate you towards their plan, or you to far away and emotionally disconnected to make a big-ask in person.
7 Your best friend, may not think you're their best friend. In fact, its highly likely. People tend to have a best friend if people in those who they can learn from, have a lot of common with, or who are available. You can tell if you have that kind of best friend, if they're inviting other people to do things and leaving you out.
- The bible say's in Provers 18:24 say's "One who has unreliable friends, soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who stick's closer than a brother".
9 I've been to churches in three continents and the most frequently preached message is on tithing. You can learn how to tithe in every conceivable way known to man - including Apple Pay, but still not hear a clear teaching on Relationship With Jesus and Salvation. You may hear a tag line at the end of each service inviting you to come up if you want to pray to receive Jesus as you savior, but that's not a teaching or preaching about what it means to have a Relationship with God's son.
10 Leaders in a church will tell you over again, "We're family", "Will help you get through this". But they're the first ones to stop calling if you can no longer get to the church for whatever reason.
11 In bible university I used to see students who would argue with professors about what they were teaching out of the bible, because their pastors had said and taught something different. Pastors have great influence over the people of their churches, yet when I worked and studied at Fuller Theological Seminary, I knew "pastors" who were living in sin the whole time they were in school, one of them who was living in sin declared during her last few weeks before getting her doctorate, "I just got saved". You'll never be able to "walk on water", if you eyes are on your pastor.
12 The very first broken marriages and adultery I observed, were pastors and deacons in a church. The pastor wife was having an affair with the head deacon. The deacons wife was having an affair with someone else. The adult Sunday school pastor was married but having an affair with a highschooler in the youth group. 11 Years later, with a different pastor and deacons, the almost exact same thing happened again. (That church no longer exists). I my later adult like, a minister of a different church had an affair with a young man outside of the church, she got exposed and "repented to fellow leaders in the church - but it was never disclosed to the rest of the church. That same church kicked church members out of the church for doing that same thing and they publicly stated why they did it to the church. I've known more "Christians" and Pastor's and "leaders" who have been divorced, had affairs, mistreated their spouses, than I know outside of the church. The church can be a good place to hear teaching from the bible and life application, but if a relationship with Jesus isn't it's ultimate mission, it's just a building filled with a bunch of hypocrites who are bad liars.
13 You can learn a lot about the status and treasures of a persons heart and life pursuit, by reading their Facebook page. Those who are hiding and undercover never post anything, or stop posting because someone called out what they were doing. Those who are grandparents usually post about their grandchildren, parents post about parenting, sports people post about their favorite teams and rival teams, games post about gaming. You'll not find any page likes, comments, or content about a relationship with Jesus, unless that relationship is the treasure of their heart. Mathew 5:14-16 "A city that is on a hill can not be hid, nor does a person light a lamp and put it under a basket but instead on a stand so it shines light throughout the house, let your light so shine in front of others, so they will see your good works and glorify the Father".
14 In peoples older years, they often become cynical of their church, church leaders, church friends, because they invested so many years of their life, time, money and energy to them, but many of the things preachers have falsely promised as biblical truths or prophesied have never come to pass and the is no time remaining for them to. Also, as churches change generationally, the stronghold their generation had in determining the past of their church dies with those members as they move away or their life journey ends.
15 Bitterness is a curse you put on yourself for something some else did or you believe they did wrong against you. You'll never get rid of resentment, hatered, bitterness until you forgive those you feel wrongs by, start praying blessing over their lives, and let go of the offence. God will let you live with a bitter and malice heart for as long as you hold on to it. That is why Ephesians 4:26 say's "In your anger do not sin, do not let the sun go down while you are still angery, and do not give the devil a foothold. (A foothold is what rock climber use to hold on to an otherwise unclimbable surface. Once you find a foothold, a cliff climber can hang out there in that one spot safely for as long as they want to.)